March 8, 2011 Sickness:(

Jesus, I don't feel well today, help me to treat others well despite how I feel. Amen

Reading 1
Tb 2:9-14
On the night of Pentecost, after I had buried the dead,
I, Tobit, went into my courtyard
to sleep next to the courtyard wall.
My face was uncovered because of the heat.
I did not know there were birds perched on the wall above me,
till their warm droppings settled in my eyes, causing cataracts.
I went to see some doctors for a cure
but the more they anointed my eyes with various salves,
the worse the cataracts became,
until I could see no more.
For four years I was deprived of eyesight, and
all my kinsmen were grieved at my condition.
Ahiqar, however, took care of me for two years,
until he left for Elymais.
At that time, my wife Anna worked for hire
at weaving cloth, the kind of work women do.
When she sent back the goods to their owners, they would pay her.
Late in winter on the seventh of Dystrus,
she finished the cloth and sent it back to the owners.
They paid her the full salary
and also gave her a young goat for the table.
On entering my house the goat began to bleat.
I called to my wife and said: “Where did this goat come from?
Perhaps it was stolen! Give it back to its owners;
we have no right to eat stolen food!”
She said to me, “It was given to me as a bonus over and above my wages.”
Yet I would not believe her,
and told her to give it back to its owners.
I became very angry with her over this.
So she retorted: “Where are your charitable deeds now?
Where are your virtuous acts?
See! Your true character is finally showing itself!” 

 For Today's complete reading go to USCCB

Isn't it interesting how sickness can draw you into yourself, and make you forget that no matter what your condition God wants us to serve others.  Yesterday I was very sick, and very short tempered, just like Tobit...Because I was upset that I wasn't feeling well I couldn't find it in my heart to even be very kind to anyone. 

Also when I was sick with Kate, my first born, I did the same.  I drew into myself.  I was upset that the pregnancy was going that way, I felt like I was the only one who had to go through months of sickness, I envied all women who seemed to have easy pregnancies.  I imagined that time going very differently.  I was angry at God for allowing me to become so ill.  So I did not reach out to other people the way that I had done before.  I was a fair-weather catholic in some ways.  I loved God and followed his commandments because he had blessed me in so many ways.  When I didn't feel blessed, I didn't bless others.  I was a lot like Tobit. 
 
 Now, after I have been through so much with my own health and my children s' health I have more compassion for those who are ill or have ill family members.  I did not know that the time of suffering would allow my to love in ways I couldn't before.

Jesus, help me to be less like Tobit, help me to serve others, even if it is just with a smile or a kind listening ear, and compassionate heart when I feel less than well. Amen